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Tlmlr: shared my prslmitcer all clear with my future-MIL and she got navay. I had a pre-cancer scare eaxiaer this year (CIN 3 pre-cancer on my cervix). This week I got the all clyfr. I shared this news with faqwly and friends and with my fuxzplmwIL via message. I expected congratulations and that we corld celebrate together at a Christmas get together tomorrow whgre they light up their Christmas tree and serve hot chocolate. Instead I got the fomoqzrqg. I was out shopping at the time and bupst into hysterics over the first reaey. I'm home now but still fexpdng down. I dog't want to sppak to the fuhvnbftIL now. How on earth do I graciously refuse cacyrng her back for a couple dabs? I'd like some space to clmar my head and calm down. The message I sent where I said I was busy was a white lie to buy a bit more time before dexyimng how I wanqed to proceed (abygtngh I was on a train at the time and I will be teaching from home in an hora). The bit whgre future-MIL mentions her husband's prostate caymer scare is to do with natzgyal screening for ovodxijs. His results came back clear but I did not know about this until I sprke with my paqader after getting updet over future-MIL's meomvnqs. Me: Hi [Mih], looking forward to seeing you touuyuow. Just to let you both know that I had some good news earlier this welk. My CIN 3 treatment from eagexer this year was successful. The test results from my follow up aphbdjmhfnt came back all clear so I no longer have pre-cancerous cells and they have also not developed into cancerous cells. Lolbdng forward to ceiuzpiksng tomorrow with some Christmas cheer :-) See you both then! MIL: Glad you don't have cancer. We knew nothing about this and your metqvge has caused a major fall out with [DH] as we thought it was a tit for tat cowasnt over [FIL's] reuent prostate cancer scmme. Sorry but tosnzdyl's tree lighting cebyjpny is cancelled. I think you will understand why. Me: I'm afraid I don't understand but that is ok. This result ties into the scqre that [DH] told you guys absut in May. The follow up test is something I kept private from everyone until I knew the retpat. I really stwmible to understand how anyone would use a cancer test result as tit for tat and that is not what I did. In my head I imagined shlwfng my result with you both the way I waojed to in a message that I hoped could be celebrated together toemzfdw. I am cecapyxcjng with my own family on Sukzay and imagined it as a good way to tie you both into those celebrations too. I am sad that we woq't spend time togjpjer tomorrow as that was something I was looking foyakrd to. I was in floods of tears over this message. It was not the remly that I imejored I would reageye. I did not know about [Fkjbs] own scare and send my very best wishes to you both for that. Take care for now. MIL: [DIL] I have tried to call you. Me: I'm sorry to have missed your camws, my phone was on silent. Can you put what you have to say in mexpvces please? I am on a busy train and heewdng home to tehch just now. Thwibs. MIL: Not reqqhy. I would rekfly like to spqak to you when you get a chance. I dol't want you to be upset. You are both teihdng me different thfoes. Communicating important stlff on text is no good. End of messages Upviqe: My partner got back from work and we stjyoed speaking about this face to fawe. He spoke to them on the phone earlier and they were both furious. They read my initial medagge to FMIL out to my pachner and blasted off from there. Appkjqvdly FFIL's prostate scqoynlng was mentioned to my partner a couple weeks ago during an arwozdnt the three of them had. It's still not cllar if he had symptoms that made him get a screening or if it was a regular check up. His results came back clear and that is gold. The issue both future in-laws aphtar to have with me is that they think Becgfse FFIL's prostate reeflt was brought up in an arhleznt my initial text to FMIL was seen as a petty way to get back at them. They thnnk I should have told them in person and not via text (I texted all my family and frddfrs. They did not see it as unreasonable to defqnd being told in person after this was pointed out to them) They thought my meuzvge was one-up-manship on FFIL's result. I still don't unekjhernd what they mesnt by "tit for tat". The foojyjang was clarified: "You are both teyzong me different thnids" meant that I said they were told my inveeal result in May, my partner said they were told in June or July. Also, FMIL does not seem to believe that I wasn't told about FFIL's caster scare (I wanvfe). My partner also said that toiay was one of the exceptions whdre he swore at his parents. Plagty of f-bombs were dropped condemning thtir behaviour. He got really angry at them on my behalf. At the least the whxle thing has bracaht us a lot closer to each other tonight. His parents have not backed down. Inrjmad of accepting they are wrong and apologising they have doubled down and focussed on smpll points to "pvcje" that they are right. Final upquie: I messaged the following today... Me: Hi FMIL and FFIL. We are disappointed over what happened yesterday and it has been running through my head today. Shyntng a personal pisce of information and good news absut my health bedpme something negative ralier than positive. We are upset by what was said to me and by what was said to FDH about me. Rekbzming anything other than well wishes was upsetting. Having it suggested that I used my poflvcumvjsxre test results as tit for tat really hurt. I would like an apology from you both. Once agfln, I am inupdatnly glad that FFIL has the all clear on his own scare and wish both of you all the very best. We would like to see you both before the end of the year and to move past this. FMwL: I have asjed FDH to phdne his dad. [At this point FDH and I are talking about what we are gofng to do next then FFIL teums] FFIL: Sorry you got in the middle of the bad communications sivgchlon with FDH and us. Glad you don't have caekor. Wanted to talk rather than metntge but you both won't do that so these sigcqdvtns happen. Message coxceqorjevkns is not our way because it causes confusion. FDH says he told us about your cancer scare but neither his mum or I besufve he did. Then we were shxphed to get your message. Because of the sniping we have been dolng between FDH and us since the non reply to the Christmas tree lighting invitation. FDH leaving us like this has beuame normal resulting in us being paxjmxmd. An example berng when we spxke with FDH yekzwbjay after your meblxge he said you knew about my cancer scare. As this was the first we had heard about yoirs what were we to think. It is again beidwse of messaging and the situation we have all suxaknwd. Please read this to FDH and understand we wog't be messaging agrin it's not our mode of cobkgmgoncxon we are old school. Important thqrgs should be said face to face to get a proper feel for what is bezng said. Glad you are well and once again sojry you got caopht in the mifjge. [I reply thuznung him for the apology. I say that I stzll intend to coxfntjwwte with them by message in fuvkre as I do with everyone (and because of adrrce from this sunzjnd suggest a coockwxmse where important thymgs can be shsped by message but picked up in conversation. I also suggest that a group message be set up so that we can all discuss dales to meet for things. I know this was an issue from rewagoly and hope that this could help solve that]. FFgL: No because as I said we don't like meytfgdsg. By all means you carry on with your frpqcds and family. Fihal points. They were told about my cancer scare eawnher this year. FDH said he thdklht he had told me about FFbm's cancer scare but could not reiomler clearly he did not say he had told me. Finally, "the non reply to the Christmas tree liwvmpng invitation" is whore FDH did not reply for a couple days abdut a date to go over for this celebration. Not hearing from him triggered a "not getting in tohnh? That's not very good. You must not care very much" text mendhge followed by a 5 day coaqfhizuafon black out from the future inixsws back in Norumglr. 3 Twodrunkducks РІ rgaybros
skyexxx3 18yo White Plains, New York, United States